End of the Semester
LonelyFinals are tough when life is constantly bearing down on you like it has been on me lately. I know a lot of people have it worse than I do - I know some that do, personally - but at the same time I'm entitled to feel pain and be down because things aren't going well. I'm not going to go into details here because the whole world doesn't need to know all the intimacies of what's wrong in my life - but I can assure you that it's not childish nonsense. Anyone that knows me will likely understand that when I am upset... I am upset for a damn good reason.
I cried today for a long while, that sucked. I hate crying, particularly when I'm sick. I've got a fever and have been coughing, as well as having laryngitis and a sore throat. Nothing appeals to me, I don't want to eat but I've been forcing myself to. Salad, ice cream, slushies, chicken... whatever I can force myself to keep down. I've been feeling nauseous but haven't lost dinner yet. Which is good.
The stress is really starting to get to me. It's not easy to keep my head up and continue onward, most of the time. Hell, I've been having trouble getting out of bed in the morning, these days. But I'm doing it and I am far too stubborn to quit.
Sorry I've been down lately and haven't been turning out any good art, I've been having writer's/artist's block for a while now and it is infinitely frustrating.
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Name: Elizabeth
What do you think you look like?: I have brown hair, dark eyes, am scrawny and muscular at the same time.
Date of Birth: August 30th 1985, 11:11am
Current Location: Manchester, NH
Religion: Agnostic.
Do you believe in a God?: Eh. There's something bigger than me.
Do you pray?: Nope.
Do you believe in an afterlife?: There's something there. Whatever it is I'll figure it out when I'm dead.
What's your favorite smell: The Adirondack Mountains, wet pavement, turkey cooking, the ocean
Political Position: Somewhere between independent and conservative.
What do you prefer to drink in the morning: Tea
Hair+Eye color: Dark brown, dark brown
Any unusual talents: Nothing all that worth mentioning.
Righty, Lefty, or Ambidextrous: Right
What kind of material do you like to use for art?: Camera, word processors, Photoshop, pencils
Favorite place to be: The Adirondack Mountains
Do you burn or tan: Tan
What is your favorite cereal: Fruit Loops
Tattoos: None
Clothing style: Goth or business casual
Do you believe in love at first sight?: Yeah
Do you consider yourself a good listener?: Sometimes.
Do you brush your teeth daily?: Of course.
Like to talk on the phone?: Meh. Depends on to who.
Favorite food?: Chinese food, Indian food, Sushi
Do you ever have nightmares?: Frequently.
What's right next to you?: An email address jotted down in female handwriting on a folded piece of lined paper.
What kind of cologne are you wearing?: I wear cologne?
What's in your closet?: Shirts, dresses, blankets, a sketchbook.
Favorite weather?: Thunderstorms, snowstorms
What's your favorite time of year: All the seasons.
Your favorite holiday: I don't like holidays.
Your attitude about love?: ...
Devious Comments
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this signature is an outright fabrication
I do commissions!: [link]
That's why I really do admire you for mustering up the strength to get out of that bed and leave that dorm and get through your classes. Especially, with the flu you've caught and the million other adversities and burdens you've been carrying. And you impressed the hell out of me when the next day, after dealing with all this hard shit and having that sore throat, you managed to rip your mythology professor a new asshole... even still. This is true inner strength!
What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger. That's how I get out of my bed in the morning. I remind myself, every second, of every day... this shit isn't gonna kill me, I'm not going to die from any of this... so it's all to my benefit. Everything. It makes me stronger. Bring it on.
I remember holding down three jobs too, and going to college back when I was living in Maine. It was hard. Four jobs??? Are you sure that's even safe to do considering all the stress you're facing??? AND summer classes?
Thumbs up on the re-doing the room bit. This will help improve your moods a little bit. A new environment with beneficial aesthetics and a good "chi" flowing about it can definately help depression. I've been doing a lot of that sort of thing around my house this week myself. One of the rooms upstairs, I'm gonna make into sort of a Zen room. It's gonna kick ass. Definately, definately, definately thumbs up. I remember a conversation we were having a few nights ago when you were telling me your dorm room was rather Spartan-like. Have you ever herd of feng shui? Check that shit out, for sure.
And YES, you are entitled to your feelings, you are entitled to cry, and to hurt, and to feel angry and to feel all these things as a result of what you're going through. And you do have good damn reasons for having these emotions. For the longest time, I was afraid to express myself to my friends when I was in need of support, because I was afraid of being judged by them or having their opinions swayed... But then I realized, in my experiences, only ASSHOLES judge you when you're hurt and need this support and if their opinions change of you when you're hurting, then they're not worthy friends anyways. No it's not childish nonsense, no it's not some emo shit... you're hurting for some good damn reasons. Don't rush this hurt and don't hurry it up for anyone. Take as long as you need to hurt and grieve and heal from the depression. It won't do you any good to rush healing, it'll only make the hurt worse and if you rush past the issues that need to be resolved within yourself, you'll never fix them properly and the scars will remain.
Hey kiddo, I'm here for you. For real. And you can vent, yell, scream, get all that off your shoulders. All ya gotta do is call, my number is a lifeline
Rock on!!!!
Stay strong, stay sweet, stay YOU.
-Sean / Shane / spiritualrocket
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"Courage is a kind of salvation." ~ Plato
Please also see my photography account: [link]
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"Courage is a kind of salvation." ~ Plato
Please also see my photography account: [link]
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"Courage is a kind of salvation." ~ Plato
Please also see my photography account: [link]
Maybe do both at the same time? It seems impossible, but it can be done.
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"Courage is a kind of salvation." ~ Plato
Please also see my photography account: [link]
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